a Feeling

When it start came and I feel like wanna DIE... Ouch what a word. simply saying a word that may be can come true as a prayer? The words easily came out from this mouth then why would mind completely run different good think. As I look back myself, I'd like to say Oh I am not that good speaker. My mind can think a thousand answer but my mouth can't speak the real thing inside me. Feeling like it's been blocked by something that I can't figure out where it's came from. It's weird! Still I am thinking what will happen sooner or later.... The answer is from the deep of own heart.